Your dog

Dear Vanessa,

I hope this email finds you well. While you were at work today, your dog started barking and it really pissed me off. I like to think I am a patient man, but it was a stressful day at work and there was a lot of traffic on the way home. I guess what I'm trying to get at is I had to use your computer to look up internet pornography. I trust that you'll not remove my bookmarks. Thanks for your consideration.

Srsly,
Dan

RE: Company Dress Code Policy

Dear Boss,

I will not be abiding by the dress code you've so eloquently informed me of. I am an advocate of casual Fridays and will fight to see that my rights and the rights of my coworkers are preserved. Hence, next Friday I plan on wearing a fishnet tank top, a speedo and my Kiss Army slippers. Additionally, I plan to grow a full beard and moustache out over the next week and then shave it into a fu manchu right before our big meeting with the new customer. Please know that I'm not acting out to be an unnecessary pain, but rather to prove a point and serve as an example for how our company should be run. I'll also be wearing ladies panties and a bra, but they won't be visible. I just wanted you to know. ;-)

Srsly,
Dan